Nur Rasyidah

Yes, He is.

As I went through a few blogs (blogwalking, of course) today, I found some kinda interesting. Why? Because ..

The bloggers are brave.

Brave of what? 

Brave of posting dakwah, tarbiyyah and all Islamic stuff. They even included some in their life stories. And I was like, "Why couldn't I be like them?"

I meant for it. They are just normal teenagers, like me, studies in a normal school, with normal students, but me? Wait.

I am not studying in a normal school.

I study in a school that is full of tarbiyyah for their students. 24 hours filled with hadis, Quran, tazkirah and Islamic way of life. But why couldn't I be like them?

Why couldn't I post about Islam everyday, instead of posting crappy things about my life or whatsoever?

I am totally ashamed of myself.

Wanna know something? All this blog things, I just do it for the sake of seeking fame. Wanna be a 'hot' one, the one with high profile. Wanna be such famous as Maria Elena, Hanis Zalikha and some of those famous bloggers. And actually, my niat. It wasn't just right. 

It wasn't just right, I repeated.

And I know, I was just a stupid jerk. At school, just ask the boys, how 'labuh' is my hijab, or tudung, or whatever you called it. I'm in SMKA, of course. My attitude, my talks, how I have a communication with a boy. And how 'muslimah sejati' I am.

Yet, outside the school? Dahhh. Talk about hypocrite. Wearing shawls, trendy stuff. And my friends labeled me as the fashionable one. What is this all about?

Ya Allah, keep me away from the wrongdoings. Ya Allah, build in the faith in me.

Amin.